According to this article here, Dr. Suess has come back from the grave, nearly 30 years after his last death, to become a Born Again Racist. He left subtle clues throughout his life, of his overt racist tendencies, but it took the brilliance of the modern-day Information Highway Thought Patrol and the Anti-Nuance League to discover his crimes.

If alive today, Suess would very like face a sentence of deportation to the Fatherland in a series of vehicles all whilst consuming rotten eggs and pork while pursued by millions of strongly-worded tweets, or perhaps he would merely be sentenced to starvation by a cancellation.

All said and done, Suess has pushed untold millions into the modern white supremacy movement that currently has over 360 million members in the United States alone. This Near Life Cancellation could not have come a moment too soon: think of all the pain and suffering that will be averted as a result of the minutes of hard work done by a handful of overstimulated Internet Cops who have the self-entitled right to cast the first stone against anyone dead, or alive who does not believe exactly as they do.

Bravo, my friends. Bravo.


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